10. — I would like to start off with this one. This guy was standing still at his tower for some time already and I was like “Purp, are you still playing?” and he told me to hold on a second. Why you ask?:
Gimme a min, my cat is drowning in our pond.

9. — The game was already lasting like 2hours because we all had end-game heroes. All of a sudden Dark Green decides to go AFK for a while, costing us the game. Right before azll of our barracks get destroyed he comes back saying:
Sorry guys, but there was a mouse in the kitchen and my mom was screaming like fuck so I went to scare it off.

8. — The game started with yellow saying “Yeah, I’ll be AFK for a minute.”. After 40 minutes he returned saying:
Yeah, i had to take my dog to the vet, his teeth were bleeding.

7. — Only thing I can say about this one, he was gettin owned and wanted something to unleash his frustration on… . At number 6:
Can we pause for a second, I want to kick my dog?

6. — We reached a certain moment in the game where every one of the team got a Monster Kill in like 2 minutes time. The dude on the other team said that we should stop it because it was annoying him. I was like “How can it annoy you?”. To which he said:
My stupid parrot just keeps on shouting “MMMMONSTER KILL” and it’s annoying the fuck out of me!

5. — This guy was playing Skeleton king and he was like constantly running right into our entire team while his allies kept on shouting “B U FARKING N00B” in All-chat. The guy replied with:
Sorry dudes, but my pet rat peed on my mouse this morning and now its malfunctioning.

4. — So this guy challenged me to 1v1 him. Since he was spamming me I got pissed enough to accept his challenge. We start playing (I randomed Slardar and he got QoP) and at a certain moment we meet in at the river (top rune spot) and I start attacking his hero. He also starts attacking me but doesn’t use any spells or anything… suddenly he pauses the game and says:
Gimme 2 minutes my dog won’t let go of my right hand.

3. — This dude was constantly pausing the game, lagging and all of that evil stuff, and finally I got sick and tired of it and asked him wtf was going on. His reply:
My cat is jumping on my keyboard.

2. — I was playing Zeus and decided to gank middle where the Low-hp Centaur was standing, looking cool. I started nuking him and to my surprise the dude didn’t move an inch. The reason:
My dog pissed against my chair and I slipped.

1. — We were pushing the scourge base and the “carrier” Drow Ranger was the only one on their team still alive to stop us. He managed to kill 3 of the heroes and ended up dying because he ran with Rupture on him. His excuse for making his hero do this:
OMFG a moth just flew against my face!

(via)

or

This guy recently challenged and said Nerubian Weaver can defeat Lina Inverse 1v1. We had the match and it wasn’t easy but a winner emerged.

Guys, who do you think won?

Woah! Looking good, love the new replays centre.

http://www.dota-allstars.com/beta/

Ok, so you’ve heard pros in your game saying “brb shopping”. You don’t see them at the fountain, and the next time you see them, they have godly items! You’ve left the games several times after seeing your inventory become useless compared to them, but despair no more! After reading this guide, you will have access to these items for yourself!

http://forums.dota-allstars.com/index.php?showtopic=39061

OMGWTFBBQZOMB!

LOL.

DotA = Religion

Dear godlike,

Thanks for owning me another day.

May all the wicked sick be healed by your dominating touch.

May your perseverance be present morning till dawn in our taverns.

Be our sentinel and save us from Lucifer.

Damage his armor with your Divine Rapier.

Sorry for backstabbing you.

Send us your Guardian Angel to save us and repel us from any evil.

May you continue to bring unstoppable blessings and let not our hearts be filled with Tarrasque.

AMEN.

http://forums.dota-allstars.com/index.php?showtopic=112351

Some useful and not so useful tips.

You can purge Spirit Breaker’s charge so he wont charge you anymore.

You can abort Furion’s teleport by pressing Stop or the hotkey ‘S’.

You can blink/use potm’s skill/use void’s skill to avoid spell damage or stuns. For example if you see a “tinker-rocket” flying against you, blinking in the right moment will deny the damage/stun.

To make a tower unfocus you, force attack on any of your own creep.

Don’t do Spirit Breaker’s ultimate, on someone who’s about teleporting. You will follow him to base, where he is probably teleporting to.

Potm and void can jump out from net/entangle, but will still be trapped on the spot they land.

You can use lothar’s with channeling spells.

If you put spider’s web or observers close to creepspawns, creeps wont spawn there. Think this is forbidden though…

With Omniknight, always do repel before your ulti, otherwise the repel will disable his ulti.

If you throw impetus with enchantress, use chen spell on her so that she teleports to base before impetus hits enemy, it does 400 dmg, which is impetus max dmg. Or use blinkdagger to blink away from the enemy just before the impetus hits.

WW can be used to avoid targeting stuns. Just use it just after they casted it on you. You wont take any damage nor be stunned.

If you’re near enemy creeps and you target an enemy hero, those creeps will walk to you to attack you. Repeat that and you’ve drawn the creeps from their tower to yours.

If you attack an hero near an enemy tower the tower will focus you, but you can use spells. You can also auto-cast drow’s frost-arrow and silencer’s glaives of wisdow etcetera, without the tower focusing you.

You can purge Eyes of the Forest, so they go away.

You can repel treant with omni, if you don’t want him to go invisible.

Spells that make “mini-stun”

Zeus’ Lightning Bolt
Terror Blade’s Sunder
Nightstalker’s Void
Bounty Hunter’s Shuriken
Phantom Lancer’s Spirit Lance
Moon Rider’s Lucent Beam
Centaur’s Double Edge

My friend recently gave me a website where I can download the maphack program, but of course since I’m so pro, I have no need for the maphack program, heck I can even pwn you with my eyes closed.

However, if you noobs beg me, I may just share the link to the maphack program here.

http://forums.dota-allstars.com/index.php?showtopic=83901

Pretty interesting writeup on the DotA’s past heroes who were rightfully removed from the game.